lundi 31 mars 2014

Comcast and Time-Warner file suit

Recently cable giants Comcast and Time Warner Cable announced plans to join together. Federal regulators are indicating that there will be opposition to the deal, however, citing antitrust concerns.



Now Comcast and Time Warner are going to court to challenge the antitrust laws, and are citing novel grounds (story here):

Quote:








Comcast (CMSCA) and Time Warner Cable (TWC) have been advised that the Federal Communications Commission and the U.S. Department of Justice would be unlikely to approve the merger of the companies because of federal antitrust statutes. The companies have decided to take the initiative.



They have filed a lawsuit in the Federal District Court for the District of Columbia asserting that the antitrust statutes are unconstitutional.



Comcast and Time Warner Cable claim the statutes infringe on their constitutional right to marry.



It's not quite as crazy as it sounds. The companies' lawsuit discusses several recent court decisions recognizing that corporations have the rights of natural people. The lawsuit also discusses at length recent court decisions recognizing the right of natural people to marry others, including people of their own gender. Corporate mergers, the companies assert, are the equivalent of marriages.



Cart L. Brobdingnagian, spokesperson for the companies, says that rich corporations are being discriminated against because they are corporations and because they are rich. "A man and a woman, each independently wealthy, could legally marry and pool their vast wealth," said Brobdingnagian, "and no one asserts any antitrust concerns about such a marriage. The same rule should apply to corporations. They ought to be allowed to merge, no matter how much wealth they independently control."



Brobdingnagian also pointed out that the right to marry enjoys constitutional protection, and that it must be applied equally to all persons. "If a man is free to choose to marry another man, then a corporation should be free to chose to marry another corporation without government interference. Men and women and corporations are all 'people' as far as the law is concerned, and they all should be allowed to marry freely."








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